keep it light

officialunitedstates:

lifeguards are nice but they only save you when you’re in the water.  where were you when I was starving in the arizona desert?  you certainly werent saving lives then now were you

ispankmyturtle:

why is it that everyone can be an asshole towards me and that’s perfectly fine but the minute i have had enough and act like an asshole its all of a sudden not okay

idk maybe stop hitting your turtle and people won’t be so nasty to you

lmaoalien:

i am the human version of the first piece of bread

florels:

the diversity of colours is amazing oh my

chespin:

send this to ur crush with no context

image

officialunitedstates:

insenial:

officialunitedstates:

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

why would i do that lmao

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

tigermisu:

 in this book i’m reading it says “he plucked a flower and stuck it in his buttonhole” and i completely misread it and now im laughing im actually 5 years old

spoopykatee:

my mom just said “watch this” then ran a red light and said “i just don’t care”

trustwurthy